Sharing social media passwords, these days, can be compared to the solemn act of exchanging rings in a wedding ceremony. The 4-letter passcode symbolizes honesty, loyalty and trust in a relationship. As a large part of our lives has already been programmed to everyday access in social media, sharing one’s password is like sharing a key that would allow one’s partner to witness and be a part of the world in that small screen on your phone. But how healthy it is really to trade passwords with your partner?
A Sense Of Security
A study found out that 67% of active users in the Internet who are in a relationship or in marriages shared their passwords with their partners. The figures doesn’t only include teenagers but also couples who have been in an intimate, codependent relationship for a long time. Some would reason that sharing their password is the easy way to get along well with their partners, as giving them the permission to access private messages commands a sense of security, a strong foundation and openness in the relationship.
When both parties are open to each other, cases of infidelity and cheating can be prevented as one would always acknowledge somebody looking over one’s shoulder amidst temptations to cheat. Moreover, in the case of suspicious activities (e.g. wary trips over the weekend, unplanned parties with friends or sudden shift in moods) the aggravated partner can always look up the other’s inbox and check for messages that may support or, hopefully, revoke the other’s suspicion. Some have reported that the act of sharing one’s passwords kept them from being in a toxic relationship as it helped them catch their partners in the act of exchanging messages with an ex with the intention of seeing them again.
A Big Help In Sharing Tasks
Sharing of passwords can also lighten the burden some tasks in the household. When one is preoccupied with an important business meeting with boss, for example, the partner can help by answering messages—provided that the person has access to the other’s phone. There is transparency even with monthly bills coming through among codependent couples when they exchange passwords.
Just The Icing of the Cake
We all know, however, that this is just the icing of the cake. We all know how feelings could change and relationships could go south in certain circumstances, and because the couple know each other’s passwords, they may use it negatively as dictated by their biases and anger or scorn toward their partners.
What About Lame Explanations?
Sharing of one’s password cannot not really succeed in establishing a sense of security, it even breeds more curiosity and suspicion as one would want to know more if a partner cannot give sufficient explanation towards cryptic, sweet messages from others outside their circle of friends. Some may get addicted to finding out more about the context of the message of an ex even if was sent a few years before the current relationship started.
A Simple Hello Could Mean A Lot
As time goes by, when both partners feel entitled to claim ownership for the other, a harmless hello from a high school classmate may spark a bad argument. Relationships are complex and people involved have to deal with several layers of emotions and thoughts, and chances are, one party may not be as open as the other wanted them to be. Even with just one harmless hello, arguments may meander far down memory lane to the point that pacifying and making peace is impossible.
The Cheater Will Always Find A Way
Seeing more does not equate actual honesty and fidelity. If one wants to cheat, s/he will really find a way to do it—simply by creating another account that the other is oblivious of. Real trust is established after giving the other the benefit of the doubt, the independence to make decisions and choices even in aspects done in private or without the partner’s peering eyes.
But What If We Are Okay Sharing Passwords?
Meanwhile, if both are really comfortable sharing passwords with each other, rules must be established, especially those that will preserve the person’s identity and privacy.
It still boils down to the idea of viewing partners as personal property. Even in monogamous relationships, our partners are never and can never be our personal property. And thus, there are aspects in their lives that we don’t have access of, and maybe, we don’t want to fully know anyway. In the end, what matters is trust built on loving interactions and the faith that the relationship will move forward with all the transparency and love that each partner willingly shares.